Allagash Dubbel Reserve

First Brewed: 1995
Brewery Location: Portland, Maine, United States
ABV: 7.0%

History & Availability: Allagash is a Maine-based brewery dedicated to reproducing the Belgian styles of beer, which are often overlooked in America in favor of British and German ales. Their Reserve line is sold in corked 750mL bottles and bottle-conditioned like a fine wine, inducing an auxiliary fermentation within the bottle, often only seen with the micro-est of microbreweries, which is perhaps why they say that many of their beers improve with age, unlike the vast majority of macros. I personally hadn't heard of Allagash until I picked up this beer at the specialty shop, despite the fact that I'm actually originally from Portland, since they're such a small-yield brewery. Nevertheless I was able to pick this one up as far away as Hanover, so if you're in the New England area you may be able to find Allagash beers provided you check a few stores.

Appearance: The beer itself is a medium brown color, pretty much opaque, with the largest head I have ever seen in a beer. Maybe you looked at the picture and thought "wow you don't know how to pour a beer, huh?" WRONG. This beer just leaves an enormous head no matter how careful you are pouring. The retention is hilariously overbalanced as well. There's still a good two fingers of head ten minutes after I poured this beer. Truly amazing. I have never seen such a thing.

Smell: Now that's a malty smell. Hint of chocolate, but mostly just the sweet, sweet aroma of the Reinheitsgebot. This is how a beer should smell. Not a hint of any adverse or off-scents, just pure malty goodness in an aura surrounding the stein. It's like when you're playing baseball as a kid, your team's just had a great game, and you go out with your dad for a root beer float - it's exactly that sort of idyllic "this-is-exactly-what-I-need" sense of anticipation as I'm getting ready to taste the beer. I'm honestly amazed any smell at all is penetrating through this huge head but I'm glad it does.

Taste: A chorus of angels is singing in my head as I take my first sip. (Oh, wait, that's the Dartmouth 1965 Glee Club with the classic Men of Dartmouth that I queued up just for the occasion. Even so.) I can taste about seven different malts in this beer, each competing for the forefront and trying to push its flavor through, but it's brewed in such a balanced manner that nothing is lost in the shuffle. The hops take a back seat here for the better, although you can still feel just the right amount of bitterness to keep your tongue craving the malts. This certainly isn't one of your fancy fruit-infused foppish beers. This is a beer for a man who loves the taste of malt. And boy, do I love the taste of malt.

Mouthfeel: I think it was Dead Guy that I described as "Oh My God so smooth." I may have found a new champion. With the enormous head retention I was expecting perhaps a bit excessive carbonation but I feel only the amount strictly necessary to keep the beer light and active around the mouth. In addition to that, the beer is amazingly light-bodied given its color and there's essentially no alcohol feeling at all, which is truly something given that it's a full 7% ABV.

Drinkability: Superb. It's so light that you barely notice that you're 20oz through your 24oz mug. I am so glad this beer is bottled by more than a pint and a half, because I find myself wanting more and more. If there's a limit on this taste I certainly haven't reached it.

Overall verdict: A+. I am not giving this out lightly. You have to try this beer.

Harpoon UFO Hefeweizen

First Brewed: 1997
Brewery Location: Boston, Massachusetts, United States
ABV: 5.1%

History & Availability: Hefeweizen, a traditional German unfiltered wheat beer, is most popular in Bavaria but has spread slowly to other parts of the world as well. Harpoon's offering is relatively new but sticks to the plan pretty well and has been fairly successful in introducing the style to a new audience. It's among Harpoon's more popular and consistent beers, so if you can find Harpoon in your area, chances are their Hefeweizen is sold as well. Note that there are several other beers in the UFO line, so don't be confused by similar-looking boxes at the store.

Appearance: Very cloudy as you'd expect. It's also super light, a yellowed straw color, so the haze is really pronounced. The head is really fizzy, pure white, and reminds me a little of marshmallows. Lots of carbonation racing up the sides of the mug here. I also noticed when pouring that there was a good amount of sediment left on the bottom of the bottle. They really weren't joking about the "unfiltered." Good on 'em, I say.

Smell: Smells like it could really use a lemon, which is unsurprising given that the box said the same thing. A very light-bodied scent that would probably pair great with seafood. Interestingly this creates more of a feeling of complementarity than a unique smell to itself. Really not much stands out here, hopefully the taste will be more prominent since I'm sadly not going to be having a seafood dinner along with it.

Taste: As someone who grew up on a dairy farm in Maine, let me tell you, hay has a very distinct olfactory package to it, and once you've made an association in your mind it has a tendency to spread. This beer reminds me strongly of wet hay. Now before you take that as an insult, it's really just more of an observation and I'm not entirely put off by it, but this is certainly a taste I've never experienced in beer before and I'm a little surprised that the association so quickly and easily sprang to mind. It's gotta be the yeast that's putting the prominent planty taste in the beer. Besides that, not much hops, not much malt, not much of anything else. The beer is pretty one-dimensional but I still can't get over how odd it is to taste hay in a drink.

Mouthfeel: Medium-bodied, which is expected given how clearly this is not a watered-down beer by any means. Decent amount of carbonation, enough to retain an unexpected level of head throughout the drink. Leaves behind a little bit of a fizz but not enough to really be distracting.

Drinkability: Not bad. It's a little heavier than the average beer of this color, so don't be fooled, but you can definitely throw down a few and be unaffected by the weight. The taste is so different that you may keep coming back for more, as well.

Overall verdict: B-, oddly tasty despite being literally dissolved hay.

Rogue Mocha Porter

First Brewed: Sometime before 2001
Brewery Location: Newport, Oregon, United States
ABV: 5.2%

History & Availability: Another one of Rogue's more popular beers, the Mocha Porter (previously the New Porter, from the brewery's location in Newport) was Rogue's first true porter and remains the one of the most popular of its darker beers today. Although it's not as widespread as Dead Guy Ale, I found it by chance in New Hampshire, so if you keep an eye out you should be able to find this without too much trouble in the more microbrewery-intensive shops and pubs.

Appearance: A deep chocolatey brown, looks almost like a root beer float coming out of the bottle. Huge, dark head with superb retention. This is definitely a porter alright. A close look reveals a little carbonation at the edges, but there may be more that is unseen because of how dark and thus opaque the beer is.

Smell: Surprisingly, there is not an overwhelming scent of coffee or chocolate as I expected the beer might have. Instead there is only a slight hint of coffee and more of a strong sweet malty smell.

Taste: Super sweet. The chocolate really only comes out in the aftertaste but then you can certainly taste it. It's really dominated by the malts, and interestingly there's not much hop bitterness at all, despite the bottle proclaiming a "bittersweet" taste. It's a little bitter, sure, but the sweetness is definitely coming to the forefront here. Now of course this doesn't mean it's a soda or anything, but the hops are just in the backseat on this one.

Mouthfeel: Astoundingly light. This has got to be the lightest porter I've ever tasted. The carbonation is also surprisingly low for how much head the beer retains. Besides the previously-mentioned chocolatey aftertaste, there's not much left behind at all in terms of consistency. Not at all what I expected, but I'm definitely ok with it.

Drinkability: High. Not too high on the alcohol content which is a problem that plagues many porters, and also unlike most beers in the style it's very light-bodied. The only thing that holds you back here is the fact that it sells for around $7 per 22-oz bottle, which is probably too much for most people to really have more than one of too frequently.

Overall verdict: B+. It's good enough that I'd look for it again, but if the more ubiquitous Dead Guy from the same brewery is on tap, I'll prefer that.

Heineken

First Brewed: 1873
Brewery Location: Originally Amsterdam, North Holland, the Netherlands; now mostly Zoeterwoude, South Holland, the Netherlands
ABV: 5%

History & Availability: Another long-running European pilsner, Heineken claims their flagship beer has not had its recipe changed since its first brewing almost 140 years ago. Heineken International is the third-largest brewer in the world by revenue (14.7 billion Euros in 2009) and has an ass-ton of breweries and brands that are heavily exported around the world. Because of Heineken's aggressive exportation you can be practically assured that you'll find it almost anywhere you travel.

Appearance: Slightly darker than your average pilsner, with a good bit of carbonation leading to an above-average head retention for the style (still only enough to cover the surface, however). I actually prefer this look for a pilsner to the sickly straw color you generally get in most US macrobrews and many major euro exports.

Smell: A fairly strong smell for a pilsner that can be pretty succinctly described as "Heineken-like" and people will tend to know what you're talking about. A little metallicy but not too bad. What I get instead is a medium sugary scent. Given the green bottles you may have the misfortune of buying a skunked 6-pack; this is definitely not a good thing so avoid if possible by trying to buy a boxed pack or one that was only just put on the shelves.

Taste: Classic pilsner. Very neutral taste, a hint of copper here, bit of hops there, nothing really stands out, and that's largely intentional. Tastes very watery but it's even a neutral, purified water.

Mouthfeel: Medium-bodied for a pilsner but too much carbonation. Recurring theme. Not really much else to say here, it feels the same as every other marginally-overcarbonated pilsner, and I'm sure you've had at least one before.

Drinkability: Surprisingly, and fortunately, the carbonation that was fairly uncomfortable in the mouth doesn't really translate to carbonation in the stomach. The taste also being largely neutral is a huge boon. Heineken is superbly drinkable and that's why it gets popular with people who are just looking to get shitfaced. Unfortunately this also tends to draw an undesirable crowd (see: My New Haircut). Kind of a shame because this is really one of my top sessioning beers.

Overall verdict: C+, same boat as Beck's; it's pretty good for a macro pilsner but there is absolutely nothing special about it.

Harpoon Leviathan Imperial IPA

First Brewed: 2008
Brewery Location: Boston, Massachusetts, United States
ABV: 10%

History & Availability: The second beer in Harpoon's Leviathan series, which features beers with abnormally high ABVs, the Imperial IPA is also the only beer in the series to be brewed year-round and regularly distributed more frequently than the others. Because of its relative popularity, this beer should be easier to find than others of the Leviathan series. I'm not actually sure how well Harpoon distributes nationwide, but you can definitely find this beer in most specialty shops in the New England area.

Appearance: A medium to dark amber color with a very thin, white head that dissipates quickly. Mostly clear and with medium to low carbonation. Nothing special here, looks a little darker than an average IPA but other than that, par for the course. I'm actually surprised that there's so little head retention but then again I'm sure it must be almost impossible with such a high alcohol content.

Smell: The Imperial IPA has a very dark and heavy smell that doesn't really hit you unless you take a strong whiff, and then it really pops out. Smells like a roasted apricot or orange to me, that's really as well as I can describe it. It's tough to extract more because of the nature of the aroma being so tough to get a good strong hit of. I expect it'll taste pretty bitter given the prominent bitterness in the scent.

Taste: Really, really bitter. We're talking 120 IBU's bitter (that's a full 3 times as bitter as Harpoon's regular IPA, for comparison's sake). A little bit of a spicy taste, not overpowering, but enough so that you can clearly notice it, especially in the aftertaste. I can taste a little bit of a dark cherry or spiced grapefruit or something in the background, which might have been nice if it was a little more prominent, but it's just so overwhelmed by the hops that it's tough to tell that it's even there. You can definitely feel the alcohol in this beer in the aftertaste, which is unsurprising given its ABV. Sticks on your breath for a good while, so you'll be feeling the taste of hops all night.

Mouthfeel: Medium bodied tending towards heavy. Little enough carbonation to not be a pain. Finishes dry enough. The feel is I think meant to just be uneventful enough to allow full permeation of the taste, rather than a star of its own.

Drinkability: The strong bitter taste hurts the beer in this category a little. It's really overpowering, enough so that even if you find it delicious you wouldn't want to keep drinking too much. Of course, given how high in alcohol it is, you won't ever want to have more than a couple anyway. Certainly not a beer to session. I got drunk doing this review.

Overall verdict: C+. I'm definitely in the minority on this one; beeradvocate has it sitting at an A-, but its extreme bitterness masking all other flavors ruins this beer for me. You might find it better suited for your palate.

Magic Hat Howl

First Brewed: 2009
Brewery Location: Burlington, Vermont, United States
ABV: 4.6%

History & Availability: One of Magic Hat's newest beers, Howl's Moving - er, I mean, Howl Black Lager - is in the style of the German Schwarzbier, a very dark beer distinguished from stouts and porters by the fact that it is a lager, not an ale as the majority of dark beers are. It's a seasonal offering from Magic Hat, appearing only in the winter. I found it on tap as the weekly special in my local pub, but they also sell it bottled as well. Availability may be questionable; since it's Magic Hat it should be distributed around the northeast, but since it's a seasonal it may not have the same distribution as the ubiquitous #9.

Appearance: Black lager is right. This is a very dark beer, not the darkest I've seen, but a very deep, opaque brown except for a little sliver of molasses-color at the base. Keeps a thin creamy Guinness-style head with a decent amount of carbonation for such a dark beer.

Smell: Very bready. There's a notable chocolate scent and roasted malts are super prominent as well. Behind these is a slight hint of mocha or a dark roasted coffee.

Taste: A little smoky or roasty. There's only slight hints at chocolate despite the smell, and a total lack of any coffee taste, which surprised me since it's tough for a dark lager with such heavy-roasted malts to avoid both of these tastes. Super bready or grainy.

Mouthfeel: Astonishingly light-bodied for such a heavy-looking beer. I guess that's the Schwarzbier style; it's definitely no stout in heft. Caught me by surprise though. There's mid- to heavy-level carbonation for the style, probably a little more than was really needed, but it does help head retention so I'm willing to let that slide.

Drinkability: Middling to low due to the odd lack of flavor. It's certainly light enough to be quite drinkable but it just tastes like you're drinking a can of bread without the classic stout tastes. I would suggest having no more than a pint or two if you really like it.

Overall verdict: B-, I'm bordering with a straight B but I've just had too many good dark beers in my day to really put Howl among them.

Beck's

First Brewed: 1873
Brewery Location: Bremen, Bremen, Germany
ABV: 5%

History & Availability: Beck's hopped on the pilsner train a little later than many, opening its doors in 1873, but quickly became Germany's largest export beer, due in part to its convenient location in northwestern Germany. Today Beck's is still Germany's most popular export beer and can be found in over 100 countries, so you should have no trouble finding a pack if you were so inclined.

Appearance: A very clear and light beer, Beck's stimulates a lot of carbonation while pouring and has a decent amount even while standing, enough to keep a slight trace head, although the initial ~1.5 fingerwidth head is too much to keep standing. A little darker than your average American macrobrew, but only slightly.

Smell: Coincidentally evocative of the key used as its logo, Beck's has a strong scent of copper that is strikingly more pleasant than the average metallic-smelling beer. That's really about it, not much subtlety here.

Taste: There's a little bit of a metallic aftertaste here, but fortunately the overwhelming top smell doesn't carry over to be the overwhelming top taste. The primary flavor here is grainy, almost like a beer made of Corn Flakes. While it's certainly not a sweet beer, I wouldn't call it especially bitter either. You can taste the hops if you know what you're looking for but they definitely aren't standing out among the flavors. Finishes fairly clean and dry.

Mouthfeel: Maybe a little bit too much carbonation for my personal taste, but this is probably just about the right amount for such a pale lager. As light as one would expect from being a clear pilsner.

Drinkability: The carbonation has a tendency to get to you, but as long as you're fine with letting out a belch every now and then, Beck's is perfectly ok to have a few of. Nice and light to allow the flexibility to drink one or several.

Overall verdict: B-, one of my favored pilsners, but the style has yet to match up with the delicious complexity of other beers.