Budweiser

First Brewed: 1876 Brewery Location: More than 30 breweries worldwide; headquartered in St. Louis, Missouri, United States ABV: 5.0% History & Availability: "King of Beers." This section is actually the main reason I chose to review this beer. The vast majority of people don't realize it, but the word "Budweiser" is actually a German adjective used to describe a thing or person from the city of České Budějovice (German: Budweis) in Bohemia, Czech Republic. So when Anheuser-Busch, the American brewing giant, tries to claim the rights to the name "Budweiser" in Europe, it's almost comical - it would be like trying to copyright the name "New Yorker." (Ooh, struck a little close to home there.) In any case there are actually a number of beers from the city of Budweis that legitimately call themselves "Budweiser," so be aware than when traveling in Europe you may not be ordering the beer you expect. Not that you'd ever order a Budweiser on purpose, but just in case. The beer itself is made with rice in addition to hops and barley malt, which subtly changes the flavor. Anheuser-Busch claims that their "beechwood aging process," wherein beechwood chips are introduced to the aging vessels, enhances the smoothness of the beer, but in actuality the chips are pre-boiled in baking soda before being introduced to the beer precisely to remove all of the flavor from the wood. As for availability, you can pick up Bud anywhere in the world - it's the most popular beer in the US, leading Anheuser-Busch to its current 50.9% of the entire market share - and is exported heavily worldwide. In many countries it is sold as simply "Bud" due to the aforementioned copyright issues, but it's the same beer. Appearance: A nice piss-yellow, totally clear, and with a good deal of carbonation. The head pours fizzy and large as is average for an American macro, and dissipates within a minute as expected, but the one thing to note here is that after the head has dissipated the carbonation rises straight through the remaining trace. In most beers lots of carbonation means the head stays thick, but for Bud it appears as though the bubbles are literally pushing the head aside as they rise to the surface and escaping that way. So I guess to put it in a word, viscosity of the head is very low. Smell: A much stronger and more distinctive smell than Labatt, Budweiser also has enough alcohol in it so that it's present in the scent. There's no pleasing scent of fruit here, no apple or pear to mask the metal. I wouldn't go so far as to call this beer coppery, but it's along the same lines as tarnished silver. Taste: Have you ever wondered what it would taste like if you were to melt down an aluminum can and drink the resulting substance? I think I may have found the answer. There's not a single redeeming quality about the taste of this beer. The only thing that softens the blow is that the silvery taste is not as offensive as some of the harsher metals. Not that I'm advocating taste-testing different metals, but I bet you'll find a penny tastes a lot worse than a dime. Don't ask me why I know this information. Mouthfeel: Only slightly heavier than the assorted Light beers that plague store shelves and pub menus. I always found it particularly entertaining that the only beers the have "Light" versions are the beers that didn't need any lightening to begin with. Drinkability: Honestly, I've gotta give the beer points here. There have been beers out there (Harpoon Winter Warmer being a good example) that I simply couldn't finish. Bud is not one of them. I would never, ever choose this beer over any micro, but if it was handed to me for free at a party I'd be able to drink it so as not to appear ungrateful.

Overall verdict: D+. I await the upcoming Bud Light with abject horror.